Thank God its Friday.

TGIF, I'm very excited today. It's not only me, even a colleague testified to it that the agency is a bit livelier this morning all because its TGIF. Our MD was on hand lately yesterday to announce that guys need to unwind. He confess that its been a tasking period since the beginning of the year.

I remember him also asking me what the weather was like with me yesterday and i responded that it was the same. He said the weather can't be the same for a man that's just 24 hours away from vacation. I agreed with him totally. I'm seriously looking forward to the end of the TGIF today and i will be off work for the next 21 days. Let me tell you how it's going to be. The First week, I will switch off totally from work, switch off my phones and will be home resting and playing with Presh and Praise. They deserve it. Its been a while they saw me before going to bed.

Second week. I will be on the mountain talking to God. I've got some things to settle with my heavenly father. so if you dont get to see or hear from me, then join me on the mountain.

Third week I'll be back from retreat and my phones will be on to receive calls, visit friends, do some Agloco work and get ready to resume. I'll get in touch with whoever i need to reach urgently, but please bear with me If I can't be reached for this 21 days. I'll take time to update this site while on vacation and I hope you'll visit again and again, at least to know how i'm doing. I will also like to hear from you, please take some moments to comment on my post. C U then.

Up Maria Taire

Yesterday, Monday 19th February was another wonderful day in the life of Bluebird. Yesterday was another Big Brother, (A concept adapted from Big Brother Africa but localised to let co- workers x ray themselves by commenting in the form of writing in, to express what they feel about the other worker, both positively and otherwise).
Maria's report was read yesterday and when its time respond, she broke down into tears. We were shocked at this development as we wonder what can necesitate her tears, since all she got was rave reviews. Bobby has to skip her response and moved on to another staff up for x ray.
Maria came back to apologise and respond that she was so overwhelmed by people's response this year, as that of last year was not palatable at all. This I think is her reason for sending down the rain. Tears of Joy you will say. Keep it up maria.

Nigeria Airways

Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen.This is your captain Boniface welcoming you on board of Nigeria Airways.
We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery.
This is flight 126 to Lagos. Landing in Lagos is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the south. If luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village. Nigeria Airways has an excellent safety-record. In fact our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us. It is with great pleasure I announce that since starting this year over 50percent of our passengers have reached their destination. If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off.
To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary Bongo tea and Okin biscuits. For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God. We regret to inform you, that today’s in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Al Barka, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this plane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down.
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view.
If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark.
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seatbelt.
For those of you who can’t find a seatbelt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat …and for those of you who can’t find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase.

"Enjoy Nigeria Airways

What were you thinking

It's your first time. As you lie back your muscles tighten.
You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely.
He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses, but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.
He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him - he's done this many times before. His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance.
You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way;
pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues.
He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you. After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle, that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience. You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.
Naughty, Naughty! What were you thinking?

Funny Text Messages

Lets try something new today.
Here i have collections of emotional and funny text messages for your reading

8 yr old boy accused of rape.
In court, his lady lawyer holds his "rod" saying"your honor, see this, can he rape?
Boy whispers, "don't shake it, or we'll lose the case!"

Accidents do happen. i slip, i trip, i stumble, i fall & usually don't care at all. But now i don't know what to do because i slipped and fell in love with you.

Last night i wanted to send you a message but all i could write was: "noh ss!w !" it didn't make much sense until i read it upside down...

Happiness is like pissing in your pants: Everyone sees it, only you feels the warmth.
MAY YOU PEE IN YOUR PANTS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!

Last night i opened the stairs, climbed the door, said my pyjamas, put on my prayer, climed the light and put off the bed just because i was thinking of you!

Our friendship means so much to me that if we were the only people left on a sinking ship with only one life jacket... I'll...em... I'm... I'm going to miss you, hope you can swim?

When a newly married man was asked about his wife, he said my new city wife dresses to kill, but the only problem is that she cooks in the same manner."

Baby Monkey asks Mother why are we so Ugly? Mother Monkey replies, Thank God we are like this, U should see the person reading this text"

"When I look at u, I smile,When I look at u, I laugh,When I look at u, I wonder,
I wonder how we came to be, I wonder if its really real, I wonder if I am worthy of feeling so happy, But most of all, I wonder, When I look at you, If you are looking at me too?

"S_nrise B_tterfly Pict_re L_nch B_s stand Fig_re M_sic all are very boring witho_t yo_.I think i miss u,

PENDING MARRIAGE

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra less. One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozening shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her undies and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, we are very happy that you have passed our little test, we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.
"And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car,

UP NIGERIA

Gabriel came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. I have some Nigerians up here in Heaven who are causing some problems. They are swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and they've got Maggi sauce and Ogbono soup all over their robes; hamhocks, Isi-ewu, Cow-feet and Bokoto bones are all over the streets of Gold. Some folk are walking around with one wing, they have been late taking their turn in keeping the stairway to heaven clean. There are soda bottles all over the clouds, some aren't even wearing their halos, saying it doesn't fit with their hairstyles." The Lord said, "I made them special, as I did you, my angel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you really want to know about problems, let's call the Devil." The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? What the.! , !, hold on one minute." The Devil returned to the phone and said, "Hello Lord, what can I do for you?" The Lord replied, "Tell me what kind of problems you are having down there." The Devil said, "Wait one minute," and put the Lord on hold. After 5 minutes he returned to the phone, and said "Okay, I'm back. What was the question?" The Lord said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?" The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe, hold on, Lord". This time the Devil was gone for 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry Lord, I can't talk right now. These Nigerians put the fire out, and now they are trying to install air conditioning! They even bribed my guys!!"